I am so screwed...

It happened again yesterday. I was waiting on a customer at the bank, and he needed me to do something I wasn't able or willing to do. What was his response? "Well the other girls always do it for me." The other girls? Really? Then he corrected himself: "I mean the girls here do it for me." Nice save...NOT. Seriously, I was shocked. It has become a little funny to me actually. That is 6 times now in the last 8 or 9 days that I have been referred to as or called a name that is reflective of, a woman. In all honesty, I just go into my days expecting it to happen. I almost walk into the bank wondering when it is going to happen that someone refers to me as a woman.

In other news, my life is about to change yet again. I was informed today that my hours that were increased due to a position being open, will now be decreased because of that position being filled. It may not be for 30 days or so, but it will happen. Possibly sooner and possibly later, he has no idea and neither do I. Roughly translated it means that my hours could be cut at any time on any day during any week in the next 30 days.

Involved in all this loveliness is the fact that I am trying to get the hell out of dodge! I need to move out, and have found a few prospects of apartment complexes to look at. The problem now becomes what can I afford and where will the best location be? If my hours are going to be cut, that means half of my monthly income goes with it. The obvious question in response to that? Why don't I get a roommate? What an excellent question! There is a possibility that I could live with one of my friends, however that would not be until August, and he has mentioned that he is unsure he wants to live with me or another of his friends. Awesome.

I decided to be vulnerable and tell my father of these recent developments, and he used it as a tool to become more depressed about his own situation. Really? This is another example of how much I need to get out of this awful situation. I can't even talk about my life without it being turned around to be made about someone else! Hello! My problem i about me...not you!

Oh! I forgot an important tidbit of this whole thing. In the conversation with my boss today where he told me my hours were being cut, he told me that my direct supervisor, called an SSS (sales & service specialist), is looking to be promoted within the market in the coming month(s). Maybe he will and maybe he won't...we'll have to wait and see. Well, if he were to move on into a different position, that would leave his position open in our branch. My manager decided to tell me that he would consider me for the promotion to SSS, which is more responsibility, 40 hours a week, and a near 3 dollar raise. I would LOVE to get that promotion, but I don't want to see our SSS go...I really like working with him. I have only been there for 3 months, why would I be the person he would choose for such an important position in the bank? And who am I to think that anyone would approve that! 3 months!

Oh my goodness, I am literally in knots thinking about all of this. I am beginning to become consumed with getting the hell out of this house and not on anything constructive in my life. Like friendships, and learning in steps and not trying to leap all at once at the bank. I don't know. I hate my life.

I am so screwed. I have no idea what's right and what's wrong anymore. So why bother!?

So what have we learned today? I sound/look/act/and behave like a woman to almost everyone on earth. I will be losing my hours. Apartments in Ann Arbor/Ypsi want to bend you over with rent prices. My father takes every problem in my life and makes it about him. My supervisor may be getting a new job in the market which may open a position that may be filled by me. That promotion may be approved by the market team or they may choose to hire someone else from within the market to come in and do it. Oh, and I sound/look/act/and behave like a woman to everyone on earth.

All that in just one day. I am so screwed. Can't wait until tomorrow!