It's been a while since the last posting...but since I am the only one who knows about this blog and reads it....i don't think that it matters all that much. But I digress.
I have been really reflecting on my future and the possibility that I could spend the rest of my life on this earth without a companion. I may never have children, and I may never know what it is like to fall in love. But would that all be so bad? I think it is no secret that Americans are getting divorced at an alarming rate, over 50% last I knew, but it bears the question :why are so many marriages unhappy? I mean think about it. How many times do you find yourselves in conversation with a married person where they either make fun of, talk bad about, or belittle their spouse? Over the last few weeks it has been an everyday occurrence for me. Comments that they wouldn't make would their spouse had been around, which actually make the comments WORSE! For example...today a person received a text message from their spouse that they were shopping at a jewelry store. When he mentioned it to us..the comment was made "you know your wife is your best friend." His reply: "She's my wife..I don't know about best friend."
Like really? Your spouse isn't your best friend? Isn't that a factor in relationships? Shouldn't you and your life partner be at least friends before you marry and then procreate? It really scares me. What if I find myself talking about my spouse like that...or worse, they refer to me that way? Is this what marriage is?
Oh, and that's another thing! So many people have told me "Don't ever get married." How is that helpful? What kind of advice is that? What kind of respect is that for the institute that you VOLUNTARILY entered into!? I just don't fully understand. There are groups of people who actually do love each other in this country that are not allowed to get married because it is not considered "normal." But here we are giving normal marriages the right to marry, and subsequently get divorced. Could I be the only that sees this as royally screwed up?
Even customers that come in to the bank make comments. "It's quiet..there must be no women here today." "I need to withdraw as little as possible for my wife...it's not her money anyway." "I hide my bonus money from her...she doesn't see a dime." "I need to transfer from our joint to just my account...I am the one working after all." And those are just a few examples.
I may never get married, and I may never have children, but if that means never having those phrases spoken of me, or vice versa...I think that might be an even trade off.
That is all.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
My name is phil....and I am an enabler
It is the most difficult thing to realize that you recognize a problem and still find ways to perpetuate that problem. I feel like a complete jackass. I am completely enabling a very important person in my life to continue in their destructive behaviors. I speak of course of my father...who is 61 and a diabetic. Now, my dad has struggled with his weight since he entered grade school back in the early 50's. For at least 55 of his 61 years, he has been a bigger guy. It was just how he grew up. His mother loved food, made it well, and made it in mass quantities. Couple that with an utterly dysfunctional family life (extended included), an even more dysfunctional marriage, and you have one very messed up human being with adult onset diabetes.
I will not blame anyone for the problems that I deal with when it comes to food, but I do recognize that we are products of our upbringing, and we are shaped by the habits and choices of our parents. Like my father, I have chosen food as a comfort and friend for more than half of my 26 years. Problem? Grab a twinkie. Emotion? Eat an entire box of Mac & Cheese. Anxious? Calm yourself with a bowl of ice cream, then eat 3 more. My current situation is a direct result of ME and only me. The problem now becomes that when I bring food home as comfort food for me, it also becomes a temptation for him. I literally lead him further down a destructive path because I am too buried in my own destructive choices.
I am petrified that one day I will make a selfish decision that could harm, or in the extreme example, kill my father. I have completely enabled my father to go back down this road, and I am not quite sure how to reverse this process. It seems as easy as restraint starting with me. Just don't bring the crap home! Or don't make the stupid cake, or cookies, or ask for certain bad for you groceries...but it is hard!
Herein lies a huge reason why I need to get the hell out of dodge. Would I were not here 1.) I wouldn't have to watch my father slowly kill himself and 2.) I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not I am throwing dirt to dig the 6 foot hole for his grave. I love my father very much, and I want him to be healthy. You are NEVER too old to get healthy, and you are NEVER too old to change your ways. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" has no business when it comes to saving your life.
I need some tips. How do I approach the subject of a huge insecurity in my fathers life? I want to honor him in the approach, but I need to drive home to him that if he won't do it for himself, he should at least do it for all of the people in is life who love him.
Gee, I guess I could start with that.
I will not blame anyone for the problems that I deal with when it comes to food, but I do recognize that we are products of our upbringing, and we are shaped by the habits and choices of our parents. Like my father, I have chosen food as a comfort and friend for more than half of my 26 years. Problem? Grab a twinkie. Emotion? Eat an entire box of Mac & Cheese. Anxious? Calm yourself with a bowl of ice cream, then eat 3 more. My current situation is a direct result of ME and only me. The problem now becomes that when I bring food home as comfort food for me, it also becomes a temptation for him. I literally lead him further down a destructive path because I am too buried in my own destructive choices.
I am petrified that one day I will make a selfish decision that could harm, or in the extreme example, kill my father. I have completely enabled my father to go back down this road, and I am not quite sure how to reverse this process. It seems as easy as restraint starting with me. Just don't bring the crap home! Or don't make the stupid cake, or cookies, or ask for certain bad for you groceries...but it is hard!
Herein lies a huge reason why I need to get the hell out of dodge. Would I were not here 1.) I wouldn't have to watch my father slowly kill himself and 2.) I wouldn't have to worry about whether or not I am throwing dirt to dig the 6 foot hole for his grave. I love my father very much, and I want him to be healthy. You are NEVER too old to get healthy, and you are NEVER too old to change your ways. "You can't teach an old dog new tricks" has no business when it comes to saving your life.
I need some tips. How do I approach the subject of a huge insecurity in my fathers life? I want to honor him in the approach, but I need to drive home to him that if he won't do it for himself, he should at least do it for all of the people in is life who love him.
Gee, I guess I could start with that.
Monday, February 8, 2010
A Rhetorical Question...
Do we show favoritism as a society? I mean, when we go to restaurants we have a favorite server. We have a favorite bank teller, cashier, manager, gas pump, ATM and the list goes on and on. Is it so weird to think that we could have a favorite parent? And conversely that our parents could have a favorite child? If every child is so different, and we all have distinct qualities that make us unique...is it so awful to think that we could clash with one or even both of our parents thus making us liked more by one or another?
I don't think I am making any sense here. So let me explain. My nephews are two of the most amazing children on this planet. I love them so much that it literally pains me. Okay not literally, but I genuinely love them. As wonderful as they are...they could not be more opposite from one another. Personality, temperament, fears, desires, favorite sports...they are all different. Okay they both like the same foods...but what pair of children aren't fed the same things?
But I digress. I have tried my best to treat each child equally, and to give each child the attention that they need and they frankly deserve. But I know that I fail, I know that I probably gravitate toward the "easier" child. The problem is that I see others following this same trend. I can't even begin to understand what it is like to have children...I may never understand, so I am not even going to try and venture a guess as to how to avoid this. I can only say that I love my nephews, and the parents they have been blessed with more than I love myself.
But is it so crazy to think that we have our favorites? And what happens to the one or ones that fall short of that favorite? I don't know...I sound stupid...and now I am done.
That is all.
I don't think I am making any sense here. So let me explain. My nephews are two of the most amazing children on this planet. I love them so much that it literally pains me. Okay not literally, but I genuinely love them. As wonderful as they are...they could not be more opposite from one another. Personality, temperament, fears, desires, favorite sports...they are all different. Okay they both like the same foods...but what pair of children aren't fed the same things?
But I digress. I have tried my best to treat each child equally, and to give each child the attention that they need and they frankly deserve. But I know that I fail, I know that I probably gravitate toward the "easier" child. The problem is that I see others following this same trend. I can't even begin to understand what it is like to have children...I may never understand, so I am not even going to try and venture a guess as to how to avoid this. I can only say that I love my nephews, and the parents they have been blessed with more than I love myself.
But is it so crazy to think that we have our favorites? And what happens to the one or ones that fall short of that favorite? I don't know...I sound stupid...and now I am done.
That is all.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Oh Winter....where are you?
I must admit...I love snow. I think it is a beautiful thing. In the right time of year of course. That being December-February. By March it needs to be getting toward spring. We changed daylight savings to accommodate it..it needs to be warm. Extra lights should directly correlate to warmer temps. But I digress. Am i the only one who has noticed that every terrible, paralyzing, and HUGE winter storm has totally missed our state in all directions? An even better question, am I the only one actually upset about it?
I mean come on....this is Michigan for goodness sakes! We are supposed to get dumped on during the winter. We have water on three sides to add to the snow machine! SO WHERE IS THE FREAKING SNOW!? I specifically bought a car with 4 wheel drive so I can be one of those prick drivers on the roads that blows by the timid drivers during a snowstorm! So where are my chances to be a tool in a 4 wheel! Yeah it makes your car dirty, you can never wear nice shoes and it makes it impossible to wear a pair of jeans twice in a row without people knowing it...but it's only for 3 months out of the year.
So far, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Okla-freakin-homa, Arkansas, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Virginia, and now the District of Columbia have all experienced a record snowfall, are on pace for a record year, or have been in the direct path of a paralyzing winter storm. BUT NOT IN MICHIGAN! We have gotten one snowstorm that totalled 5 inches at best. That is just ridiculous to me. In a state where we always complain about how much snow we have, and where our children pray for the storm of the century to cancel school for a week. Here we are in February without even a hope of a snowstorm in the near future.
Now I feel I should clarify, I do not ski, I do not understand how a snowboard works, and I would compare cross country skiing to the boredom that some people feel when they watch golf. All I have is a Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo with payments that are psychotically high, that has 4 wheel drive that I am not using enough to feel I am getting what I am paying for (and will be fore the next 36 months). That's all I am asking for. Is that so bad?
If only I controlled the universe...children would experience a snow day again, and I could be a tool on the roads and only laugh as I leave people in my dirty salted road dust! Alas, I have to leave that honor to God...he seems to have done pretty well so far...so...I don't see why that won't continue.
Yay snow!! (please come back to us)
That is all.
I mean come on....this is Michigan for goodness sakes! We are supposed to get dumped on during the winter. We have water on three sides to add to the snow machine! SO WHERE IS THE FREAKING SNOW!? I specifically bought a car with 4 wheel drive so I can be one of those prick drivers on the roads that blows by the timid drivers during a snowstorm! So where are my chances to be a tool in a 4 wheel! Yeah it makes your car dirty, you can never wear nice shoes and it makes it impossible to wear a pair of jeans twice in a row without people knowing it...but it's only for 3 months out of the year.
So far, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Okla-freakin-homa, Arkansas, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, Virginia, and now the District of Columbia have all experienced a record snowfall, are on pace for a record year, or have been in the direct path of a paralyzing winter storm. BUT NOT IN MICHIGAN! We have gotten one snowstorm that totalled 5 inches at best. That is just ridiculous to me. In a state where we always complain about how much snow we have, and where our children pray for the storm of the century to cancel school for a week. Here we are in February without even a hope of a snowstorm in the near future.
Now I feel I should clarify, I do not ski, I do not understand how a snowboard works, and I would compare cross country skiing to the boredom that some people feel when they watch golf. All I have is a Jeep Grand Cherokee Laredo with payments that are psychotically high, that has 4 wheel drive that I am not using enough to feel I am getting what I am paying for (and will be fore the next 36 months). That's all I am asking for. Is that so bad?
If only I controlled the universe...children would experience a snow day again, and I could be a tool on the roads and only laugh as I leave people in my dirty salted road dust! Alas, I have to leave that honor to God...he seems to have done pretty well so far...so...I don't see why that won't continue.
Yay snow!! (please come back to us)
That is all.
Ugh...parents.
Parents have this enormous power. It's almost scary. I know there are studies and fields of study and professions that all deal with this topic of nature vs nurture..but the bottom line is: parents have this enormous power. They shape how we think, react, emote, walk, talk, look, feel, and even shape our futures with their decisions. Conversely...they can also royally screw us up.
I do not know exactly when we as children become the adults in our relationships with our parents, but at some point...we do. We become the rational thinkers, we become the normal, functional, rational person. We can identify our parents flaws, recognize how to fix those flaws, and sit back while they do absolutely nothing about it. Now, is that just our parents being incredibly senile, or are they just "secure in who they are?" When exactly do they cross over that thin line from secure to senile?
I don't pretend to know the answer to that question, I only know that I am a living and breathing example of that struggle...right now. It haunts me everyday. It taunts me every minute, and it follows me everywhere I go. AND I AM SO OVER IT!!! Seriously. I understand that I am one of probably 100 million or so children of broken families in America...but I don't know those people..I only know me, and my situation, and I feel like I am going to explode all over the place. Then my body will be swept away in the wind like a dandelion, and I can land on some field 1000 miles away, somehow reform myself into a person and start the hell over somewhere else.
Wow! That is so depressing! You know, when you write it all down...it makes it seem so much worse. It almost makes the already insurmountable that much higher of an object to get over. So my question then becomes...what are the steps to take build your stairs to climb over it? How does one mount the insurmountable?
Please don't judge me....I am trapped in my own life right now. Add on to that the problems I am shouldering (some by choice, but most not) and you have the makings of an overwhelmed and stressed out 26 year old guy.
None of this would even matter if Tiger Woods would come back to play professional golf. He solves all of my problems. Just wanted to end this blog on one irrational statement. I'm good now...back to being the rational, normal one (whatever the hell that means).
That is all.
I do not know exactly when we as children become the adults in our relationships with our parents, but at some point...we do. We become the rational thinkers, we become the normal, functional, rational person. We can identify our parents flaws, recognize how to fix those flaws, and sit back while they do absolutely nothing about it. Now, is that just our parents being incredibly senile, or are they just "secure in who they are?" When exactly do they cross over that thin line from secure to senile?
I don't pretend to know the answer to that question, I only know that I am a living and breathing example of that struggle...right now. It haunts me everyday. It taunts me every minute, and it follows me everywhere I go. AND I AM SO OVER IT!!! Seriously. I understand that I am one of probably 100 million or so children of broken families in America...but I don't know those people..I only know me, and my situation, and I feel like I am going to explode all over the place. Then my body will be swept away in the wind like a dandelion, and I can land on some field 1000 miles away, somehow reform myself into a person and start the hell over somewhere else.
Wow! That is so depressing! You know, when you write it all down...it makes it seem so much worse. It almost makes the already insurmountable that much higher of an object to get over. So my question then becomes...what are the steps to take build your stairs to climb over it? How does one mount the insurmountable?
Please don't judge me....I am trapped in my own life right now. Add on to that the problems I am shouldering (some by choice, but most not) and you have the makings of an overwhelmed and stressed out 26 year old guy.
None of this would even matter if Tiger Woods would come back to play professional golf. He solves all of my problems. Just wanted to end this blog on one irrational statement. I'm good now...back to being the rational, normal one (whatever the hell that means).
That is all.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Whatever....
I know blogs are supposed to be witty, and they are supposed to be this place where you exhibit your skills in how many metaphors you can use in one entry. Well tonight, after this day, and after this week so far...I say WHATEVER! I am so tired of this. I am so tired of dealing with this and having it be so solitary. There really aren't many people in my life who could begin to understand what it is that I am going through, and that sucks.
There is stress around every corner. Some unresolved issue that keeps poking its head above the proverbial water to bother me. I am tired of it. I am tired of fighting it, and all I want to do is give up. Forget about the alleged "progress" and the stupid goals I have for my future and give in to what apparently everyone around me can see. Even strangers question it and comment on it. Where is the sign on me that points out my issues to the world? What is it that I did to make me the recipient of such a wonderful fate?
Now I am whining...I sound annoying.
I have found myself this week hiding from everything and everyone. I have chosen bitterness and contempt over sanity and clarity of thought. I have literally given in to the dark side of my thought life. And you know what? I don't even care. There is an odd comfort of giving in to the lies you are told about yourself. These lies were once described to me as our "tapes." These tapes can manifest themselves in many different situations. You could be driving in your car and hear tapes like, you aren't pretty enough, the person you're going to see doesn't want to see you...and the list goes on. My tape is that my struggles and issues discredit me from living life to the full. That the very things that make me different make me unworthy of the friendships I have because "if they really knew me" they wouldn't come within 10 feet of me.
This is my life, day in and day out. I live with these tapes and struggle to control them before they control me. I have good days and bad days, and so far this week has been nothing but bad days. That doesn't mean that the rest of the week couldn't go wonderfully, that would be great in fact, but for right now....this is where I am at.
What I need is some sort of hopeful outlook. I need to find that spot inside of me that still believes that I can defeat all of this and go on and live the life that I truly desire to live.
Now if I could just figure out what the hell that means, I'll be on my way to figuring out and obtaining "the life I want to live."
I am so screwed.
There is stress around every corner. Some unresolved issue that keeps poking its head above the proverbial water to bother me. I am tired of it. I am tired of fighting it, and all I want to do is give up. Forget about the alleged "progress" and the stupid goals I have for my future and give in to what apparently everyone around me can see. Even strangers question it and comment on it. Where is the sign on me that points out my issues to the world? What is it that I did to make me the recipient of such a wonderful fate?
Now I am whining...I sound annoying.
I have found myself this week hiding from everything and everyone. I have chosen bitterness and contempt over sanity and clarity of thought. I have literally given in to the dark side of my thought life. And you know what? I don't even care. There is an odd comfort of giving in to the lies you are told about yourself. These lies were once described to me as our "tapes." These tapes can manifest themselves in many different situations. You could be driving in your car and hear tapes like, you aren't pretty enough, the person you're going to see doesn't want to see you...and the list goes on. My tape is that my struggles and issues discredit me from living life to the full. That the very things that make me different make me unworthy of the friendships I have because "if they really knew me" they wouldn't come within 10 feet of me.
This is my life, day in and day out. I live with these tapes and struggle to control them before they control me. I have good days and bad days, and so far this week has been nothing but bad days. That doesn't mean that the rest of the week couldn't go wonderfully, that would be great in fact, but for right now....this is where I am at.
What I need is some sort of hopeful outlook. I need to find that spot inside of me that still believes that I can defeat all of this and go on and live the life that I truly desire to live.
Now if I could just figure out what the hell that means, I'll be on my way to figuring out and obtaining "the life I want to live."
I am so screwed.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
You never know...
Have you ever wondered how people perceive you? Do you ever think, what if I act like a fool right now, and then see this person again in a totally different situation? Wouldn't that be so weird! I always find myself trying to behave as well as possible because you just never know when you may see that person again. Because although we live in a world of 7 billion people, and a town of some 120,000, life has a way of making the world seem incredibly small.
Well, such was the case today.
Picture it, 8 weeks ago a man moves from civilization to the ghetto to experience life, laughs, and extra chains on the door for security. In the process of moving he decides to rid himself of the evils of Comcast and takes a trip to their main office to "give back" the equipment he so lovingly protected for the 3 years prior. Upon entering the office 5 minutes after it opened, he is greeted by a freaking line wrapping around the office and almost going out the door. Annoyed but patient, this man waits. 13 from the front.....now 12. It is at this point that we all experience "The Pissy Swaetpants Guy." You see, this man tried to cheat the system and order his products online, along with arranging for the equipment to be sent via overnight mail to his place of residence. Sounds good right? Pssshhhhhh...Not so much. 11 to go....See, not only was the equipment wrong, the price was wrong also, meaning he was "never" told what the price would be. He was told that he would have to pay for his HD service, something all of us who have Comcast are well aware of. 8.95 for regular servie, and 9.95 for HD DVR service. It's a known fact. That was not good enough for TPSG. He insisted that the online chat said nothing to him about a charge for HD service, and also said that the online chat quoted him a bill for 20 dollars less than the actual price the Comcast employee told him. In fact, he brought up the online chat so much, the woman behind the counter said "I don't know what the online chat person was thinking, but sir these are the prices, and you do have to pay for HD service to receive it." 5 more to go now....Now you may be asking, how do I know so much information about this particular customer/employee interaction? The answer is simple...THE GUY TALKED SO FRIGGIN LOUD!
Which brings me to today...I SAW HIM AGAIN! He was at a business conference I was working for the hotel downtown! I came out of the kitchen and BOOM! There he was...TPSG in the flesh. Except, this time...he was as pleasant as a cool breeze on a summer evening. The kind that makes you close your eyes and savor the scent of fresh air. I mean he was that nice. The entire time I was thinking...does he have any idea that I was present for one of his most embarrasing moments? Does he recognize me, because I SO recognize him.
It really made me reflect on how important it is to behave like you'll see this person again. Behave as you would if your child was with you, or your grandmother, or even, in the more extreme example, as if Jesus was standing beside you.
You seriously do just never know....
That is all.
Well, such was the case today.
Picture it, 8 weeks ago a man moves from civilization to the ghetto to experience life, laughs, and extra chains on the door for security. In the process of moving he decides to rid himself of the evils of Comcast and takes a trip to their main office to "give back" the equipment he so lovingly protected for the 3 years prior. Upon entering the office 5 minutes after it opened, he is greeted by a freaking line wrapping around the office and almost going out the door. Annoyed but patient, this man waits. 13 from the front.....now 12. It is at this point that we all experience "The Pissy Swaetpants Guy." You see, this man tried to cheat the system and order his products online, along with arranging for the equipment to be sent via overnight mail to his place of residence. Sounds good right? Pssshhhhhh...Not so much. 11 to go....See, not only was the equipment wrong, the price was wrong also, meaning he was "never" told what the price would be. He was told that he would have to pay for his HD service, something all of us who have Comcast are well aware of. 8.95 for regular servie, and 9.95 for HD DVR service. It's a known fact. That was not good enough for TPSG. He insisted that the online chat said nothing to him about a charge for HD service, and also said that the online chat quoted him a bill for 20 dollars less than the actual price the Comcast employee told him. In fact, he brought up the online chat so much, the woman behind the counter said "I don't know what the online chat person was thinking, but sir these are the prices, and you do have to pay for HD service to receive it." 5 more to go now....Now you may be asking, how do I know so much information about this particular customer/employee interaction? The answer is simple...THE GUY TALKED SO FRIGGIN LOUD!
Which brings me to today...I SAW HIM AGAIN! He was at a business conference I was working for the hotel downtown! I came out of the kitchen and BOOM! There he was...TPSG in the flesh. Except, this time...he was as pleasant as a cool breeze on a summer evening. The kind that makes you close your eyes and savor the scent of fresh air. I mean he was that nice. The entire time I was thinking...does he have any idea that I was present for one of his most embarrasing moments? Does he recognize me, because I SO recognize him.
It really made me reflect on how important it is to behave like you'll see this person again. Behave as you would if your child was with you, or your grandmother, or even, in the more extreme example, as if Jesus was standing beside you.
You seriously do just never know....
That is all.
Monday, February 1, 2010
Sonny shot Dante!!
I have a confession to make.....I love soap operas. I realize how much I just emasculated myself, but damn it I love them! Where else can you find the most beautiful people on the planet play filthy rich people who allegedly have day jobs while sleeping with each other until the find out their bed mate is their sister/brother and then have 3 months of angst because they slept with their sibling!?
I know...it's trashy, trite, totally unbelievable and altogether predictable, but I can't stay away from them. Over the last 15 years, I have been an avid viewer of several soap operas, including, but not limited to, All My Children, One Life To Live, General Hospital, Days of Our Lives, The Young and the Restless and that's just naming a few. This doesn't even include cancelled shows like Sunset Beach, Another World and the short lived but well liked Spider Games on MTV.
Perhaps it's the appeal of living vicariously through these fictitious characters to achieve lives we will probably never know. Or maybe it's because I want to find out how the writers and actors will portray another random person being added to the family tree because of one freak drunken encounter 25 years ago that they were too afraid to be honest about and have been covering up by paying off the mother to keep her quiet and help them maintain some semblance of normalcy in their everyday lives. I don't know, but something makes me watch, and often.
As a person who went to school for the craft of acting, I respect completely the art form that is the Soap Opera. I mean think about it this way: In 7-10 days, a show like Glee or Grey's Anatomy will film 1 episode. In that same time span, a soap opera will film up to 10 episodes, perhaps more. Crew members also have to take down and put up each set, every single time they move to a new scene location involving new characters, or even one repeating character in a different location. It's crazy!
From the acting perspective, if you are involved in a central storyline, you could be on 5 days a week for several weeks and could therefore have up to 100 pages of dialogue to learn OVERNIGHT! And sometimes the day before that your call time could have been 5 am, and you might be there until 12 or 1 am. So in 4 hours, you have to learn 100 pages of dialogue. I'm sorry what!? Which is why ladies and gentleman, soap operas are blocked the way they are, with a lot of over the shoulder shots and not too often with 2 people in the same shot facing each other. This is to make it easier for the actors to literally read their lines off of cue cards. Hence the reason I respect them so much, because you have to act WHILE you read, and most of the time cry while you read.
Oh! Also, in a series weekly drama, you could get 7, 10, 50 or even 100 takes for one moment. With the soaps, you get 3 tries. If it isn't right on the third try, they edit together the best of the 3 tries to make the finished product. There just isn't enough money in soap operas to be wasting precious film.
Wow, I feel so much better for getting that out there. Now I have to go watch GH, because on friday Sonny shot Dante for being an undercover cop working to have him arrested for his ex-wife Claudia's murder, and he doesn't know that Dominic (the name he is going by) is really Dante, the son he never knew he had by Olivia, a woman he slept with 25 years ago before Brenda, Carly, Kate, Alexis and Claudia ever came into the picture.
May these shows never go off the air...cuz if they do...I.Might.Die.
That is all.
I know...it's trashy, trite, totally unbelievable and altogether predictable, but I can't stay away from them. Over the last 15 years, I have been an avid viewer of several soap operas, including, but not limited to, All My Children, One Life To Live, General Hospital, Days of Our Lives, The Young and the Restless and that's just naming a few. This doesn't even include cancelled shows like Sunset Beach, Another World and the short lived but well liked Spider Games on MTV.
Perhaps it's the appeal of living vicariously through these fictitious characters to achieve lives we will probably never know. Or maybe it's because I want to find out how the writers and actors will portray another random person being added to the family tree because of one freak drunken encounter 25 years ago that they were too afraid to be honest about and have been covering up by paying off the mother to keep her quiet and help them maintain some semblance of normalcy in their everyday lives. I don't know, but something makes me watch, and often.
As a person who went to school for the craft of acting, I respect completely the art form that is the Soap Opera. I mean think about it this way: In 7-10 days, a show like Glee or Grey's Anatomy will film 1 episode. In that same time span, a soap opera will film up to 10 episodes, perhaps more. Crew members also have to take down and put up each set, every single time they move to a new scene location involving new characters, or even one repeating character in a different location. It's crazy!
From the acting perspective, if you are involved in a central storyline, you could be on 5 days a week for several weeks and could therefore have up to 100 pages of dialogue to learn OVERNIGHT! And sometimes the day before that your call time could have been 5 am, and you might be there until 12 or 1 am. So in 4 hours, you have to learn 100 pages of dialogue. I'm sorry what!? Which is why ladies and gentleman, soap operas are blocked the way they are, with a lot of over the shoulder shots and not too often with 2 people in the same shot facing each other. This is to make it easier for the actors to literally read their lines off of cue cards. Hence the reason I respect them so much, because you have to act WHILE you read, and most of the time cry while you read.
Oh! Also, in a series weekly drama, you could get 7, 10, 50 or even 100 takes for one moment. With the soaps, you get 3 tries. If it isn't right on the third try, they edit together the best of the 3 tries to make the finished product. There just isn't enough money in soap operas to be wasting precious film.
Wow, I feel so much better for getting that out there. Now I have to go watch GH, because on friday Sonny shot Dante for being an undercover cop working to have him arrested for his ex-wife Claudia's murder, and he doesn't know that Dominic (the name he is going by) is really Dante, the son he never knew he had by Olivia, a woman he slept with 25 years ago before Brenda, Carly, Kate, Alexis and Claudia ever came into the picture.
May these shows never go off the air...cuz if they do...I.Might.Die.
That is all.
I'm sorry what!?
So I am watching the Grammy Awards right now and they have been hyping this Michael Jackson tribute for I don't know....7 years. THIS IS THE DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN! Like seriously...Celine Dion, with Jennifer Hudson, Smokie Robinson, Carrie Underwood and Usher!? Could you have chosen 5 people with absolutely NO ties or similarities to Michael Jackson. I mean, why don't you just put Miley Cyrus on stage and call it a day?
How on Earth could any of these people even come close to honoring him the way he really deserves to be honored. And in 3-D no less. A whole Staples Center full of music artists and their big ass 3-D glasses...does ANYONE else think that is totally wierd?
Okay...who names a kid Prince? Wait a minute.....I think I remember at least 1 other Prince out there.....hmmmm.....And why did they have him memorize it. I am LIVID right now. I hope the blogs are going crazy tomorrow with hate for that all together lackluster "tribute" to Michael Jackson.
In the scorecard of tributes....it's MTV 1, and the Grammy's a big fat Goose Egg. Where the flip was Janet? I don't know, maybe it just seems that the Grammys are a little too out there now. It doesn't even seem like people like winning them anymore.
Alright, here is my top 3 performances:
3. Lady GaGa w/Sir Elton John
2. Beyonce...she can do no wrong.
1. PINK!!!! I'm sorry..lip synching or not...SICK!
Bottom 3:
3. Taylor Swift...she looked like she didn't know the words w/ Stevie Nicks
2. Zac Brown Band...not even Gandolf the Grey on the piano could help them.
1. Green Day....and I love Broadway...but don't mess with the original.
Anyone else watch and care to comment? And what did you think of the "tribute?"
How on Earth could any of these people even come close to honoring him the way he really deserves to be honored. And in 3-D no less. A whole Staples Center full of music artists and their big ass 3-D glasses...does ANYONE else think that is totally wierd?
Okay...who names a kid Prince? Wait a minute.....I think I remember at least 1 other Prince out there.....hmmmm.....And why did they have him memorize it. I am LIVID right now. I hope the blogs are going crazy tomorrow with hate for that all together lackluster "tribute" to Michael Jackson.
In the scorecard of tributes....it's MTV 1, and the Grammy's a big fat Goose Egg. Where the flip was Janet? I don't know, maybe it just seems that the Grammys are a little too out there now. It doesn't even seem like people like winning them anymore.
Alright, here is my top 3 performances:
3. Lady GaGa w/Sir Elton John
2. Beyonce...she can do no wrong.
1. PINK!!!! I'm sorry..lip synching or not...SICK!
Bottom 3:
3. Taylor Swift...she looked like she didn't know the words w/ Stevie Nicks
2. Zac Brown Band...not even Gandolf the Grey on the piano could help them.
1. Green Day....and I love Broadway...but don't mess with the original.
Anyone else watch and care to comment? And what did you think of the "tribute?"
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